06/11/11

more orange

This dress is so cool, it actually SCREAMS to be outed at some swankaay premiere!
Its lalala lalalalala, not to be gotten out of my head. Good pint-sized Kylie made overalls sexaay when there were so low on fashion's horizon, along she came, and: they seem to "stay forever and ever and ever". Does this have ANYTHING whatsoever to do with this pale orange? Still being kept afloat by Cuutaay E.T., we are in an oversized, not so pale dress that has KYLIE-COOL (KyOOL) written all over it. Yes, and do us all a favour: wear ridiculously pink lip stick with it! Thank you! You can thank me later, at said premiere, to which you are sure to be invited with this KyOOL dress!

an orange dress

Dress: blacky dress
bracelet: HandM

d.

06/11/11

marginal old me

OK, I admit, the dalai might be a brilliant role model for our ambitious dictatrice. Regarding everything else I suggest (a) not taking this dress to any premiere, unless it is a real hippie-ish kind of movie about rolling saints who smoke ganja for world peace -- but who would want to go there? (Oh, on second thought, sign me up.) (b) Avoid getting into the pain discussion, Witty's devoted zombies will haunt you within minutes, and you don't want that. (They'll make you watch that dumb movie with the green space alien again!)

p.

06/11/11

no one hears me scream

I am now being sucked into the the ET spaceship. All because I wanted to call home! Oh, no!!! Hopefully I manage to hold on to 'the thing', coz when I am up there it is SPACESHIP vs THETHING time! They'll give each other a good bashing (NO! Not whipping, no one whips anything! Neither back, NOR forth!) E.T., Cutaay E.T., not Katanye E.T., is a cutaay, isn't he? Not Katanya, but Cuutay E.T. is making, oh, dear, yes, ORANGES fly! With his superlonglit cuutayfingertip! Is HE responsible for my rave whiperaty? Maybe I ain't naught by a flying orange to some extraterrestrial 'thing'. OH, no, 'thething'! Its ALL coming together now...is it ALL one?!!! I doubt it, but makes me think of someone rather orange claiming just that. Makes me want to give HIM a good bashing, until HE TAKES THAT BACK! No, mister, you aint feelin no one else's pain! Compassion is not a literal feeling of other peoples pain. Sorry, Sir, but apart from the orange you haven't got much going for ya. Peace out=)

outer space

Tassle'thing': blacky dress
bracelet: HandM
earrings: woolworth

d.

06/11/11

HYPER HYPER!!!

Can you tell I'm at a rave? And I'm an orange. Both at the same time. It's called "multitasking". Like what I am doing now, typing and sipping tea. At the same time. Let's see how long it'll last? I mean, the computer underneath a hovering tea cup. No, nothing to do with flying saucers, hovering tea cups are not prone to abduct and/or to impregnate. Anyways, I'm whipping my hair back and forth, and even an alien finds the innuendo to this inundated child too much to handle! "asdhjklfsdh hj894hknsf???=§()" This is alien talk for "OH NO!!! Now I have this awful song stuck in my head!!!!" Honestly, they said if only this kid would stop singing they would stop stalking Tommy and Travolta-boy. Oh, well, guess it's too late now...

raving like it's 1999

top: blacky dress
knitted tank: blacky dress
bracelet: HandM

d.

06/11/11

Sister, can you spare an E?

here's a joke: what did the raver say when the drugs wore off? -- "Duuuuude, what the hell kind of crappy music is this?"

p.

06/11/11

BRAINS!!

Heres another shot of 'the thing'! Maybe it would make for some good splatter movie material? I mean, the lady (incidently me) engulfed by 'the thing' has a zombie attitude going here, I can sense that! ATTACK OF THE THING! It only attacks in changing rooms! Hello, that would make for a GREAT splatter movie. Some changing rooms have such appalling light, I mean, just show THAT plus the look on the poor frightened customers' faces: "This really is ME??????It cant be! I look like a whale! How did I get stranded HERE? Someone call Greenpeace!!!!"
Our zombie here is looking for WALLPAPERS headoffice, where this shot was theoretically taken. "This wall and I, we belong together, can we get married?" Actually, in some countries, YOU CAN!
But let's not go there. I mean, really, lets not go to those countries where you can marry a wall! I mean, really, maybe it's contagious, or it's something in the air, and then what??? Imagine the children!!! Poor buggers!

a zombie

Outfit: ibid
shoes: customized ALDI north

d.

06/11/11

note. on the side.

first things first: I object to the urban legend here.
less importantly: this thing would suit a sniper on the prowl quite perfectly. take extra care! let the buyer of this object not get anywhere near a forest, or else they will just disappear in the brushwood, never to be seen again.

snipe that!

p.

06/11/11

being creative

Sue Ellen tying her shoe laces? Sarah Jessica Parker picking up the hair spray can she dropped?
Yes, Sue Ellen is a brunette, and would most probably be crouching in corners for all the wrong reasons, but either of above ladies could easily be seen in THIS statement 'thing'. Not quite sure what it is, but, who cares? ITS FABOOSH, daahlin! Just tassles, I mean, almost as good as swiss cheese, which is practically nothing but holes! We are so delicious, mohnsiö Perez is now refering to his readers as being 'Cocolicious'! Now thats what I call: dottilicious!!!

a bag. and hair.

Tassle'thing': blacky dress
bracelet: HandM
Handbag: customized Gucci

d.

06/11/11

on a sidenote

The truly interesting and inspiring part here is the story of the bag. I certainly won't go into any specifics, but listen up, Mr Gucci: if you should ever fall from grace with the poncy people and those who want to be them: DIY handbag kits, sold at kik! Think about it...

p.

06/07/11

ALF

One eye on pink, another on a raise? Well, wear this shirt and gesture towards it whenever your boss asked you to do something. Also advisable: get a ridiculous "toilet brush" hairstyle like mine here: that way, none of your colleagues will sense you to be a threat. Strange, when does that happen? When one is young one gets bullied for looking different. As a grown up, people bully you if you are juuust that iddy-biddy-bit better at being THEM. Yes, true that! See, I am not only conveying hypocritical advice concerning outward appearance here: it's also concerning inward matters.

no problem

Shirt: HandM
Rest: ibid.

d.

06/05/11

on the fringe

regarding our delightful dictatress: (or would that be a dictatrice? dictateuse?) I have tried arguing with her, I have made numerous attempts, gone to great pains to find the reasonable, consistent principles that doubtlessly must make up the foundations of her incorruptible aesthetic judgment regarding matters of fashionism and stylocracy. certainly, I ratiocinated, once I pin down the basics of the system, I can start working in the system as well as make up my mind whether or not I am even able to agree with said basic principles... but, oh but... I failed miserably. why are socks and sandals the paradigm of awfulness? "oh, how can you even ask, it's so obvious. though, on the other hand, if you're a super hip skinny dude, you might even pull it off as a statement of how much cooler than conventionally cool you are. it depends; a matter of context!" so is it because socks are part of one's undergarments and it is not appropriate that they be seen at any time? but then again, is it less distasteful to parade one's bare smelly feet around town? does the aesthete not have as much a right and an even greater obligation to frown in that case? but no, Watson, IT WON'T DO! the underwear theory is flawed from the get-go: look at said skinny hip people in their silly printed t-shirts and humongous plastic frames: they're displaying the waistbands on their boxers all the time. (be sure to note the brand, of course!)
or so the argument went. and many others quite similarly. and thus I was led to accept the error of my ways. I had actually and embarassingly pulled a Hegel. but the time of big systems and objective idealism and prescriptive aesthetics as a reputable academic endeavour has been over for longer than anyone can remember, so it wouldn't even be fair to resort to the ultimate verdict "last season!", because these ideas are buried so deep down, they will definitely not be resuscitated, whereas the season paradigm seems to incorporate a more cyclical picture of history.
Thus, on behalf of the eternal recurrence and the dictatorship of dottilicious whackiness, I can only give our human readers one piece of solid, sound advice: OBEY!

p.

06/07/11

down texas way

Yes, we need to talk: daaahling, when was the last time you watched Dallas? In a time when no one emailed another, there was already so much spam information abounding.
"hesaidthatshesaidthat, hedidwhatshemighthaveonly, shecouldntcausetherewashe, yeah, him, whojustmadeitallthattinybitharder"-kinda trash talk! Great, Fama/Pheme! Uhm, go kick fama in the derrière, or go look it up on google. Either way, do it in style! Wear fantastic feather-clad leather! Customized clogs daahling will get you hence and back in a jiffy, and totally in style! And remember: the contamination source of Dallas hair was able to be contained. It is no longer contagious! Go on, wear them clogs and join that square dance group so u will be ready in time! "What time?" you may rightly ask! I'm glad you asked. FYI: Yep, Dallas is being revamped, you wait and see. Filming is done as we speak.

neat shoes.

Outfit: ibid.

d.

06/07/11

you heard me: PINK!

I've got my eye on pink. A bit like Sherlock, really. A fairly new series on BBC on Sherlock. Surely you've watched it? No? Do it! This is a command. But, where were we? Ah, right, pinkish pinkness, remember the en gardes of juicy couture? Britnaaaay again, wanting to be "hit" again (oh, layers upon layers here...) strutting around in these awful sweat suits, a velvety type, with "juicy" written over her u-know-what? Now u-guess-what?!even "true religion" is making a come back! U didn't know that they were ever "over"? Honaaaaaay, u either got more money then sense ( of course they were still trying to throw them@ya4a good €400...d'uuuh!) or you need to get out more.
Anyways, fresh baby pink, so poncaaaaaay you can't decide whether the crocodile ate the horse including player or visa versa. And then go and smell like a baby's bottom. Bulgari has something to suit your mood. If you prefer smelling like burnt rubber and Tarmac, opt for commes' instead. But then again, don't! Coz u wouldn't be seen in baby pink, even if it meant meeting Rei.

here be pink. again.

Clogs: customized ALDI
Top&shorts: HandM
Glasses: First Vision
Anklet: Woolworth (fabooosh: it's got DOLPHINS!!!)

d.

06/07/11

Piiiink!

Ooops, think Britney's early days: wasnt she a cutaay?
What I am doing here is generally refered to as being a statement. Do philosophers of mathematics have this in mind when they speak of 'statements'? Overemphasizing one feauture in order to get the point across? Sorry to burst ya bubble there, honey-bunny, but most said lovers of wisdom of numbers and the like do not know their pinks from their fuchsias! I KNOW!!! Tragedy!!! I feel a song coming on!..... beat beat beat beat, falsetto tone "I really should be holding you, holding you, loving you, loving youuuuuuuuuuuuuu: TRAGEDY, when the feelings gone and you cant go on, its TRAGEDY, yadadadadaaa, veeeeeeery high cant hear whats being sung, yadadadawhooohooolashallalalaaaa.." And the lesson of today? Know your tones, whether audio or visual...You dont want to confuse your falsetto with your head voice, or your fuchsia with your pink.

here be pink.

Shorts: customized ZARA
Top: Dorfyluts
Glasses: first vision

d.

06/03/11

Too much of water hast thou, poor Ophelia,
And therefore I forbid my tears.

„Madame, you are no longer alive!“ „Yes, sir, i am aware of that, for I am a drowned body! However, would you mind taking a picture of me? I so would love to go on scaring people with my existence!“ „Sure, daahlin! In fact you remind me of someone...Oh, yes, the ghost in 'what lies beneath...' Are you by any chance related?“ „Sir! I admire you! You are very perceptive! But no, I am SHE! The royalties I get from the movie stink, so i have to make a living! Here is my card! For a small fee i go around frightening those who tend to give you the creeps!“ „ Oh, there are one or two I can think off. Thanks! I will keep it in mind!“
Yes, the FLOATER (!!!!) du jour wears a tragic dress to underline its awful situation! I mean, spending your days and nights downunder (no, i dont mean oz)!...? No laundry EVER dries! Worse than in the tropics during rain season, I mean, poor buggers. Maybe we should help them and raise money towards dryers for FLOATERS...well, if only that word weren't belaguered with so many other connotations! Go get a flowy dress, wear a dinner jacket (so you look like the drowned prom night queen haunting the king who selfishly let you drown, and stick some algae in your hair!)
Voila! Has potential to be the new emo style! Daahlin, potential is what? Right! The FUTURE! And a drowned person has what? Exactement! A PAST! And again, polaroid style capturing the moment! Fashiscience (thats fashion and omniscience combined for all you „special“ people out there!) all over again!

goodnight sweet ladies.

Dinner Jacket: ZARA
Dress: customized ZARA

d.

06/03/11

squawright, innit?

Inner city cowboys, beware: squatting squaws abound around!
Yes, and we are dressed in ACNE-esque wedges with a tinge of westwoodian flair! The dress? You guessed it: grandmas apron inspired it!
This combo is so new and terribly now, well to you it is, us squaws, we always carried this style in us. She-wolf, only by name related to some loca waka chica! A serious man inspired our brief case. In it? Trump's toupee? Cruise's thetan? You will never know, for a she-wolf guards her secrets like a, well, she-wolf. She too befriended the Masai a loong time ago, hence the collar she sports! Well, and there you have it: the link betwixt past and the mor, captured this minute! Daahlin, are you the one who dances with the she-wolf?

squawright!

Earrings: CandA
Shorts: HandM
Belt: London
Dinner Jacket: ZARA
Bracelet: customized DIOR
Kneehighs: Woolworths
Rest: ZARA

d.

06/03/11

bananaphone

This season its all about bright colors! And, orange and yellow just work so well together, dontcha find? The orange of the self-tanned legs with the yellow of my banana necklace! And, in case you get any ideas of nicking the necklace, I'll whip ya with the chunky key chain. I singlehandedly declare them to be super hot this season! C&A is featured in nearly every BRAVO-girl (no, i dont read them, i never....) and its worth a visit! Check out the super feather weight earrings not leaving your lobes with holes the size you could stick bananas through. A dinner jacket, well, daahlin, this type, you can't go wrong! It's an hommage to Richard Clayderman (kleider, the german word for CLOTHES, happens to be pronounced teh same way...well, he didn't have much to say about KLEIDER apart from that he wore some, THANKFULLY!!!) plus there is a missing back collar, which is in itself so futuristic, for maybe soon and very soon, THEY WILL BECOME SUPERFLUOUS, and then what? Well, I am sure technology will conjur up something amazing to cover our now exposed napes. Maybe one day we will find ANY collars to have entirely vanished! For attending conferences that force you to wear silly name badges are soooo last season daahlin, so who needs them anyways?! Guess what? Yes, another omniscient case of fashion! Yesterday, tomorrow, capture in the NOW! Ah, fashion, we marvel anew everyday!

ring ring ring bananaphone!

Top: HandM
Shorts: HandM
Belt: London
Dinner Jacket: Zara
Rest: ibid.

d.

06/03/11

yet more asbestos

Now, where are those damn wet wipes again? Gotta get rid of that corosive acid! I know I had them on the Nostromo!....Here's the grappling gun, the motion tracker, flamethrowers, some weird egg type of thing, but no wet wipes!....Gotta get that stuff off my shoes....argh!

more asbestos, baby!

Shoes: ZARA
Rest: ibid.

d.

06/03/11

asbestos

Asbestos is so 70's daahlin! This outfit is so too, and equally awful. So much so, my belly is poppin out!
BUT: we here at the dictator's HQ are tolerant, yes, even knit can make into our good books! And yes, a martian bin bag (soo futuristic, i mean, there is NO colony on mars yet, AND: alien is ONLY fiction!) again we are in fashion heaven! Future and past held captive in a little changing room! Yes, transcending time and place, that is what fashion is about! Ripley, next time, burn them alien eggs in style with this nifty chain jumper! Yeah!

asbestos, baby!

Bracelet: customized DIOR
Jumper: ZARA
Skirt: ZARA
Kneehighs: Woolworths
Bag: ZARA

d.

06/01/11

hotness

Berlin is sooo hot right now. All I need to do is to write 'berlin' over and over in this blog, and i would have succeded at being hot.
Honestly though, we have hungry looking male-models roaming the streets, a sure-fire sign that 'real' fashion has finally arrived here. Ever since Suzy Menkes knighted us in 2009, Berlin is slowly becoming a force to be reckoned with. Gone are the days of old with Escada dominating the landscape of literally EVERY premiere there was, with beige obviously matching beige, accessorizing the german blonde hair so very well. NOT
Falcon Crest and Schwarzwaldclinic are no longer our aesthetic compass, Thomas Gottschalk is now considered 'excentric' even from within his own ranks, and egg plant (aubergine for all of youse who confuse EGG plant with yellow) colored wash silk blousons for men are not the only fashion export any more.
Yes, the fashion landscape no longer forces those of us with a leaning towards an aesthetic outlook on life to leave the country in search of greener pastures.
Yes, 'tis true my dear young'uns: there were days when wearing a neckholder angora top, worn with grey suit trousers (with a crease! Maybe that was just too OTT!!! that must be it!) and a pair of velvet killer heels worn to a new years eve party were considered overkill!
No more!
No more Mr.(and Mrs.) Niceguy: Henceforth you shall find little gems from within this place of hotness brought to your phone or your home.
If Berlin were a song right now it would be Diana Ross, baby, telling us that „ I've got to show the world, all that i wanna be, and all my abillities, there's so much more to me, somehow, i have to make them just understand, I got it well in hand!“

d.

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